Renewed Friendship

So, lately I've been distracted by a friend I haven't talked to in over 20 years. We found each other over FB and have been emailing back and forth ever since. We haven't even talked on the phone! It's kind of fun to get to know her through email. I haven't seen her or a picture of her so I don't have that "visual" part of the equation to distract me from learning all the things I can about her.

You see, she was my first love. I was 10, she was 8 and we met while our families were vacationing. We were at a teen center and we danced together all evening... I'll never forget that! When the night ended, I was walking with my large group of campers I was with and she came running up to me out of the dark, threw her arms around me and kissed me... she was eight going on 16 and I fell in love that night... we spent 8 more years, every summer hanging out together...

When I was 17, I partied pretty hard and she told me that I was killing myself and she couldn't be around it... we parted ways that day. Some years later, I saw her just before she went off to New York to be married, we made love that day and then again, she was gone.

Now, almost 20 years later, I'm learning about her a different way. I'm finding that I love this woman for whom she's become not just the sexual part, or the beauty of her but for the person she is inside... Will anything come of this, I don't know, Since becoming a Zen Buddhist, I've discovered that I don't have to control the outcome, I only have to be present. The rest isn't up to me nor do I have to try and make it that way.

I've loved this girl almost my entire life, We've been connected in more ways than I can say. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what the outcome, I'm just glad that she is alive and well and lets see where the story takes us from there...

Have you ever reconnected with an old love and what happened?

I would love to hear others take on this.

Thanks!

Mondays....

Just another Manic Monday,

I'm sitting here doing my paper work and thinking about the weekend and what I'm going to be doing this week, how I'm going to put money in the bank and where I'm going next weekend... life is good... even on a Monday!

The sun is shining, my bike is clean and I can't decide where to go, the beach or the mountains... This weekend I spent it working on my truck. Thank god for the internet! I was able to search for the information I needed to do the repair and got step by step instructions with pictures. A job that would have surely cost me $1500 or more was done in a few hours and a little elbow grease, not to mention the actual "grease" that I needed to complete the job!

Don't you just love the internet? I've been doing some work on my bike too and since others were so kind to put information up about the things I was doing, I thought I would return the favor. I took video and pictures of my Motorcycle before I started and then step by step, I added pictures and video about what I was doing. Helping a stranger is far more rewarding than people think!

Now my truck and my bike are ready for the Spring and Summer. I have peace of mind and transportation that I don't have to worry about!

Working through the Work Dreads..

Have you ever just NOT wanted to go to work? I have a job, a great job! I don't have to work 60 hrs a week. I don't have to work on the weekends. I don't have to spend night after night rolling over in my bed thinking about WORK. I'm good at what I do... BUT....

Lately, I'm dealing with a lot of things that don't have anything to do with work but that still take up a lot of my "thinking" which seems to use up a lot of my energy. Work gets in the way of dealing with the other issues that I have. I'm taking care of a parent that has a terminal illness and it's very draining watch this person wither away... it seems all the good people in this world... die early... Have you seen this as well?

You see, I've been doing my job for 40 yrs. and I'm only in my low 50's. Yes, a family business. My father said, " I do it " so, " you'll do it too". My job has paid for a lot of fun and some not so fun times...

There isn't any real reason that I've found myself in this little funk.

I just want to rest. Read and stay warm...... I know, tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow, I'm going to work. I also know that once I get on the job, I'll be fine, it's just leaving home right now that I'm having a tough time doing.. at least if it's for work. I don't seem to have any problems going to the beach or taking a motorcycle ride or staying up late at night reading other Blogs... I just have to get a little balance I believe.

Taking care of a sick loved one really takes a lot out of a person.

Anybody else have any experience with this? I'd be interested in hearing about it.

Finding an old flame

Last night I was looking around on Facebook, something I do when I'm bored with nothing to do. You see, I help take care of my Mother who has Dementia/Alzheimer's and is like caring for a 1 yr. old baby.

When I sold my house in the foothills to come back here, I moved in with my girlfriend. Things were going pretty well except for a drinking problem that my GF has. One night we got into an argument and I left, went to mom's house to stay for a couple of days when I realized that she needed 24 hour care. I stayed on to help her out. I know she would have done the same for me if I had been hurt or something.

Anyway, as I started out, I was looking around FB and out of the blue, I thought of my first love. I hadn't seen her in over 20 years but I had nothing to do. It took me about 20 minutes to find someone that I thought might be her so I sent an email to her.

This morning, I received an email back and it WAS HER! talk about a small world. She actually lives about 12 miles from me. At first, I thought, god, I'd love to see her, but she has a family, I have a family and to see her would only be a selfish thing. I'd love to see how her life turned out. She said she has children... I bet they're beautiful, just as she was and probably still is.

Isn't it funny how we always think about the past! What if, What if. I was a party animal, her a hippy chick. I drove fast cars, she didn't. She was in drama, I liked to cause drama. She lived in a big city, I lived in a small community. We were so different, yet, every summer, our families would vacation at the same resort so every summer for 6 years, we were boyfriend and girlfriend..... I learned a lot with that girl!

The last I heard she was working in Manhattan when the World Trade Centers were brought down. I had heard she was working for the Port Authority or something and I hoped that she wasn't caught up in the disaster. Now I know she wasn't and I'm thankful for that.

I wish her all the best, I don't know what will ever come of this but I'm glad to have written it down so that I have a record of when I Found my old Flame!

Have you ever wondered what your "old Flame" was up to?

Have you ever contacted an old love from the past?

Would love to hear other stories about such things!

KC's first BLOG

Well, first of all, I am new to this site so I'm adding a sample blog to see how it sets up, how it looks and what I'm going to do with it. Learning about blogging as I go but wanting to put something on there just for kicks.

I'll be back with my first real post later this week.

KC