HAPPY NEW YEAR !

Just a quick note wish my 6 readers a Happy New Year.

I hope that you all make it the best year of your life to date!

Hugs and Kisses to you all,

KC

Happy Holiday's

Just wanted to thank those of you that sent messages to me. Things are better.....

It's going to be a rough first of the year and I'll deal with it "One Day at a Time"

Happy Holiday's to you all!

Hugs and kiss' to you all!
KC

It just keeps giving and giving.....

Sunday morning the girl that comes in to help care for my Alzheimer's mother was getting her out of bed and walking her to the bathroom, I was in my office when I heard a LOUD crash.... I jumped up and ran into the room to find my mom rigid on the floor and the girl freaking out... I've seen this one before. She had a Seizer and had labored breathing... I calmed my girlfriend and the helper and asked them to call 911.... her eyes were glazed and non responsive. The firemen came within minutes and a few minutes later she stated to respond.... her  eyes blinked and I knew she was going to be OK. they took her to the hospital and she came back.....

I spent hours in the hospital..... they don't move very fast... it was raining and  I I had to bring her home.. Why do things always happen in December?

She's OK I was calm...I hope it stops soon.....

A night to forget... or remember...

Yesterday was a drag.... no other way to describe it. It started off like any other. Coffee, schedule the day, make phone calls. Then it went to hell....

For the last 5 years, I've had a back and shoulder problem. I take Soma when I need it to relax the muscles and it helps get me through the day. Not everyday, just when the weather is bad and the body is acting up... I'm not proud of this but I've found that it helps.... you see, I haven't drank alcohol in 27 years. I've been in AA since 1986. I've been proud of the fact that I can go out with friends and be the driver to make sure everyone gets home safely. My doctor has given me other medication to try and relieve the aches and pains. I hurt my back long ago L4/L5 and I used to speed ski behind 100 mile per hour boats... I was good at it, but one day, I crashed. I chipped a vertebrae and I have a bone chip that floats around in my back... most of the time, it doesn't bother me but when it does, my legs stop working and I'm laid up for a week or two. In the last 2 months I got Tennis Elbow, now, I don't play tennis but it causes severe pain. The work I do requires me to do heavy lifting and many days I'm in pain... so, I got a prescription for Soma to help make me feel better. When the weather gets cold, my pains act up so I took some Soma, as prescribed... but after 2 hours, it wasn't helping so I took two more....

 Right after I took them, my girlfriend called and asked if I could deposit some checks in her bank account. I said "no problem" I drove down to the bank and thats when the Soma hit me. I think I had an allergic reaction because I started shaking. I decided to drive home because I knew something was wrong... I pulled into a parking lot to go back the other way, it was crammed with cars trying to park and I bummed a car with my truck, I truck turns like a bus but still, it was the Meds that made me mis judge the space and I tapped the cars rubber bumper. No damage but still, I got out and talked to the woman that owned the car. We started to exchange information when I realized I had left my wallet on my desk... she call the police..I was slurring because the Soma was just hitting me. The police officer asked if I had been drinking and I told him no but he could tell something was wrong. I told him I had taken a perscription medication and that I thought I was having a reaction to it... well, he call the paramedics.. and all hell broke loose.... See, 2 of the cops working that day are friends of mine but they couldn't do anything... I felt so embarrassed. I had to ride in an ambulance to the hospital and by the time I got there, the affects of the Soma had calmed down BUT , because of the ordeal, I was given a DUI.....I'm devastated... I spend last night watching the football game in a holding cell. Now, the town I live in has a pretty Low key jail and all the officers were very kind. I wasn't handcuffed and demeaned but I had to stay there for 4 hours.

In the last 27 years.... this was the lowest I've felt that I can remember... I've been using Soma for a long time and I have on a couple of occasions had these affects but the back pain made it worth the problem.... NOW,  I have to face all my friends that have known me to be a non drinker. Leading a clean life and tell them that I abused my prescription and that what I've been doing to relieve the pain has know become a problem. As they say, If it causes a problem,,,,, it's a problem....  I feel sick, depressed and with all the other things that I deal with now I'm going to have to have a record, Have a restricted license, pay who knows how much in fines and face my friends that are cops in my town. I'm more embarrassed that I can describe. I feel like I've let so many people down..... Today, I just didn't want to leave the house, one of the cops on duty is my friend from junior high, another has been my neighbor forever....

And the topper, I had to call my girlfriend to come and get me.... Thank god it wasn't on a day that I had to be home to be with my Alzheimer mother I don't know what I would have done then...

This note will continue as I find out what is going to happen..... Scared, pissed, embarrassed, ashamed,,,,,
They say some good things come from bad.... I hope so...

Sometimes things just suck

This weekend started out great, I went and got my 12 yr. old and we had a great day just being guys... he kicked my ass at Madden10 and loved every minute of it... then I got the call from my Daughter that her car wasn't working, she has a 25 yr. old boyfriend that she lives with and he doesn't do SHIT to help her out...


so, I drove to Sacramento (110 miles) to find out that her motor is shot and that she needs another car... her BF doesn't think he should help her even though they've lived together for 4 years... what a SHMUCK! So, since she doesn't have money, no credit and is still staying with this guy, I have to help her find a car she can drive to work.... I love being a dad.......

THEN, my GF and I were going to meet a couple for some "fun" and because I didn't want to be on a "sex" sight, I gave them my email so they could email me and we could set things up... I told her all about it but she had a FIT...I was at the point of sending her home.... except I let her use my car because her car is broken and with the rain I haven't been able to get out to fix it. She started to yell. I don't do well with yelling I pulled my trck up to the front of her car to jump it so she could leave. I talked... she yelled...  What's going to happen from here on out..... I don't know.... But yelling isn't the answer







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1

A day in my life

Well, it's Monday night and I'm home watching the football game... nearly alone...
You see, something about my life I haven't shared with many people is...
I have a 79 year old Mother that lives with me. She had Alzheimer's  and is like a year old child.
I don't take care of her all myself, I have a sister that comes down to spend 10 days a month with her so that I can have a life. I also have a company that comes in to take care of her during the day so that I can work.
I used to work 5 days a week and i would travel or go away on the weekends.. Someday I'd like to do that again.. I love spending time with my children but as they get older, it's tougher and tougher to get them to hang out with dad. Friends are important.

I have a few good friends and I schedule my time so that I can spend time with them. I also have a VERY understanding girlfriend that helps when she can. She has a busy life too and I hate to ask her to help out when she has her own daughter to deal with... and she's a handful.

If you've never had to care for an elderly parent.... it's an experience that don't wish upon anyone. Bathing her, changing her undergarments, getting her ready for bed.... I have an electronic eye that keeps watch in her room so that I can sleep at night and it will go off if she tries to get out of bed. Lately that doesn't happen... luckily! for 6 months, I lived on 40 minutes of sleep, then up for a half hour, back to sleep for 40 minutes..... it almost killed me...

The reason I'm writing about this is... because, I've never written about it before....
People ask me how I do it and still have a life... well, my life bends around her needs. If I have something planned, I pay a company to come and watch her while I'm out. If I get enough notice, I can work it around my sisters visits...

SO many times I've wanted to just throw in the towel and put her in a home. Mostly when I'm having to deal with it and I'm tired... and then I think about it...

I've led a pretty exciting life, I've done a lot of things in my time, I've done some REALLY crazy things as well and I can't count how many times I've escaped death or worse, Many, many times.... and I think about all those times I've escaped being could have woken up in a hospital crippled from head to toe... and then I think about what my mother would have done if that had happened when she was able... and you know what? She would have done the same thing I'm doing for her....

I've worked on jobs that were in old peoples homes..... they make me sick the way they care for their patients.... dirty, uncaring... I know that my mother would have NEVER put me in one of those homes,,,,, and that's why I care for her.... she would have done it for me.

So, it's Christmas/Holiday time and I'm getting invited to a lot of parties... some Vanilla, some not... and I'm having to thank them and decline especially  if it's spur of the moment...

But I'm not complaining, I'm thankful for the times when she's walking down the hall and she looks up at me and all of a sudden her eyes come into focus and she says... " Oh hi KC..... it's so nice to see you." and then she fades away again.... but I know, in that small moment.... that her only son made an impressing on her and somewhere in that dying brain.... I have my own little spot that she can still go to even if it's few and far between....

Enjoy every moment of every day.... it can all come to an end in a blink of an eye....

Thankful for a lot

This Thanksgiving was very special for me. I was able to get 3 out of 4 of my children together for Thanksgiving dinner. To some, that may not sound like a big deal but for me, it is. My kids all live in different towns. No, they don't each of different mothers, but they are growing up and they have all moved for one reason or another and are moving on with their lives.


My oldest son lives close to me, we see each other at least once a week and we have a very close relationship. He's 28. I raised him on my own for several years until I met his stepmother. He's married, working full time and going to school to get his degree in Computer Science. He's working on getting his Microsoft Certification and has his own computer repair business. Needless to say, he's pretty busy but still finds time to hang out with dad.

My daughter is 24, now she's my problem child. No, she's not a basket case, so to speak, but she has her own ideas of how to live life and that doesn't include being a part of the family. I raised her as well on my own for several years. She has decided to stick with the ex-wife in hopes of being included in the will one day... she hasn't quite figured out that she isn't blood ( ex is not her birth mother) (That's a story I'll get into another time... it's a long one! lol) Anyway, she lives with her boyfriend's family about a 100 miles from the home base. I talk to her when I call her. She calls me when she needs money or has a problem. She hasn't figured out that it's better to keep in contact just in case something comes up. I've rescued her a few times and now instead of giving her money, I give her gift cards to Safeway so that she has to buy food... supposedly, she is clean and sober but whenever I see her, she's skinny, shaking and can't sit still... having been through all of that myself 25 years ago, I can tell when things are "normal" but I can't fix her so I give her love, I tell her that she has a home here if she needs to get away from where she is and then I let her do her thing... and hope that she comes out the other side alive....

Then I have the King of the family. He's my 18 yr old. I call him my politician because that kid can work a room like no other kid I've ever met. He is polite, inviting, a conversationalist. He communicates with adults as well as peers. He played competitive soccer for many years. He's active in social sports, doesn't party, goes to Gonzaga University and is doing very well in his first year there. He also knows how to work the "System of Mom" he knows how to get what he wants from his mother! I'm not into spoiling my kids but I do what I can to help make life better for them. Their mother comes from old money/trust baby so she has never had to work a day in her life and has never had to struggle to make ends meet. The King, knows how to do the right things and say the right things to get what he wants. From me, he gets love, a dad to talk to and a father that will tell him what's right and wrong. I think he's going to be a well rounded individual as he grows up.

My youngest son is 12. He reminds me, of me.... he's a rebel, he plays football, he chases chicks. He loves school for it's social climate, not the learning climate. He's 5'9" tall, he's 160 pounds of muscle so he's lean and mean... (I was tall but not as heavy as he is) He loves the attention he gets from playing football. He hasn't quite figured out that when you play football, you represent your team on and off the field. He's trying to learn humility but he's still young and learning... He wants to be like his 18 year old brother but he doesn't have the charm that his brother has so he uses his bronze instead.. He too is very respectful and practices manners but he's like a bull in a china shop sometimes and needs to be reminded that with size come responsibilities. All and all, he may not be University Material, but if he keeps playing football the way he is, he could go far...

We had a great time talking, laughing, playing Guitar Band, (I played the drums) visiting and sharing stories with the other guests that came. I cooked 2 turkeys and all the fixings. Others brought their favorite foods and we stuffed ourselves.

I'm thankful for my family and all of my close friends that came and spent the day with us. I'm also thankful for those that couldn't make it.

I hope everyone had a nice time with family and friends!

Resting this weekend

Our little GFF called today and wanted to get together with us for a little fun or the Adult kind... but after last weekend, we're both wanting to relax this weekend and be "normal"...
My GF did some "shaving" last Saturday night and she said that she's a little tender still from the rash that followed on the following day... she wanted to be EXTRA smooth, so she went against the grain while shaving and she's got the little red bumps that itch like crazy. I know about the "little red  bumps" too.. you see, I'm saved "Down there" as well...
I never thought I would EVER do anything like that.. I'm not a "hairy" guy but one night, I thought I would surprise her and Shave... Being a "Manly man" I didn't ask anyone about how to go about it... I just go the razor and started at it... I shaved my balls, the inside of my legs at my crotch, I saved my shaft... then I thought, what the hell, I'll shave a little higher too so I shaved up to my belly button...
Next I looked at my chest and I thought, " I'm going to trim that up too" so I started to trim it with the razor... and I put a couple of streaks down my chest... so I thought, "Well, now you've done it" so I shaved my chest hair....
By the time I was done, I had the smoothest Chest and privates EVER!! I shaved every which way... up, down, sideways... I was SMOOTH...
She loved it!! She couldn't keep her hands off me... it was HOT.... UNTIL.....
The next day.... that's when I started itching... not just itching.. I mean REALLY itching.... It was driving me crazy!!! and that's when I saw the bumps.... EVERYWHERE!!! I almost freaked out.... I said "I'LL NEVER SHAVE AGAIN!
It took about a week for all the bumps to go away.. my girlfriend told me what I did wrong... and since then, I've kept myself fairly well shaved.. I've learned that in my business, shaving at my belt line, is NOT recommended... If you spend a lot of time bending over or have the chance of dirt getting into your clothing... DON'T shave at the belt line... it takes FOREVER for those little bumps to stop itching and go away..! LOL
So, when my GF said she'd like to just relax this weekend, I don't have any problem with that... I'll rub lotion where she needs it and we'll have a nice, Vanilla weekend... and I'm PERFECTLY content with it...
Cause I know that once those bumps go away.... she'll be ready to explore our NEXT adventure!
I love her...!

OK, Now things are really heating up...

What can I say... what a weekend! My GF is the GREATEST! She is full of surprises...

Friday night we spent the evening at home. I cooked us some dinner and we started watching a movie... "Get him to the Greek" Sooo funny! After the movie, we spent the next 5 hours making love in every room of the house... We went from room to room... and did "It" in each room in a different position... She is a trooper! That girl LOVES to make love!
So, Saturday afternoon, we took the bike out for a little ride, went to the Crape-vine for lunch. Sat outside along 4th Street and watched the people walk by. It was such a great day. 75 Degrees during the day and in the low 70's that night. We went over to our little friends (GFF) and met her husband. Visited for a while and then came home. Later that evening, the GFF called and said that she and her husband wanted to stop by. She told us that she had been talking to him about the possibility of us two couples getting together for some fun. Now, he hasn't ever don't anything like that so it was going to be a "feeling" out period...
They showed up about 9:00 pm and the GF, GFF and her H (Husband) had a couple of Cocktails, I don't drink. We planned on taking a Hot Tub and then sitting around watching a movie... we decided to watch the movie first so we all sat on the couch and hit PLAY... literally! No sooner than the movie started, I started kissing my GF and she started rubbing on me... I looked over and the GFF's, H, had his hand down his wife's shirt.... the next thing I knew, the GFF was all over my GF.... she had her top off in a flash and was sucking on her breasts... the H, wasn't sure what to do! I couldn't help but chuckle. The H didn't know that this had happened earlier in the week and so it kind of caught him off guard..
At the point, I didn't care what the H did... I was getting into the action.... without getting into much detail.... it was another night to remember! We did end up taking that hot tub, but not until long after the movie was over... we sat in the tub and talked about what had just happened.... the H was a little taken aback by his wife's aggressiveness, I assured him that it wasn't LOVE, it was FUN, and than what they had was Love, what my GF and I have is LOVE and what his wife did to myself and my GF friend was LUST...
Haven't talked to the H since that night but the GFF has called and thanked us for another great evening and is looking forward to our next adventure! SO AM I !

I came 12 times this weekend.... I think that's a record for me! I'm so sore I can barely walk! (smiles)

Stay tuned... it's getting HOT IN HERE!

Oh what a night...

Last Thursday evening was like any other... I had finished dinner and was watching a little TV waiting for my GF to get home from work. She normally stays over on Wed. and Thursday evenings. It was a cool night but not unlike many Fall evenings in our area... Motorcycle weather actually. I love riding on crisp evenings... the bugs are long gone and when you put on all the leather, you don't sweat! Anyway, my girlfriend called and said that she was going to dinner with a friend and that she would be home a little later than normal. Nothing unusual about that since she often works late and then stops off at a little Italian Restaurant for a bite and a drink with the girls. She informed me that a female friend of ours was meeting her for a drink and asked if I wanted to come down and join them. I wasn't busy so I jumped on the bike and rode over to meet them... When I got there, I could tell they were up to something... they were both smiling and laughing... We had some food and they had a couple of cocktails... the conversation soon turned to sex... my GF's friend was telling us how unhappy she was and how she didn't get enough sex and how she longed for more... she would occasionally brush up against my leg and I girlfriend was holding my hand and smiling... we were having a great time talking when they suggested that we go to my house for a hot tub... not one to pass up hot tubbing with two beautiful ladies, I agreed. They drove over to my house together and I rode my bike... I parked in the garage and went around to the side yard and opened the gate for them... My GF and her friend were feeling pretty good so it didn't surprise me when they got inside the house they turned to each other and started kissing..... Within seconds, GFF (GirlFriendsFriend) was pulling at the buttons on my GF's blouse and my GF was unbuttoning her friends shirt. Between kisses, the GFF was telling me how lucky I was to have such beautiful breasts to play with... I was just standing off to the side watching... I didn't want to say or do anything that might break up the moment! I watched as the GFF pulled off my GF's bra and started sucking on her breasts... pulling on them sucking, licking... it was a scene right out of a Incredible XXX video except it was happening in my room off the patio... Within minutes both of the girls were naked on my floor groping, kissing and sucking each other... when all of a sudden, they turned to me and started pulling at my pants.... they said I had too much clothing on, so they both started undressing me... pulling at me and grabbing me... I had two girls on there knees in front of me taking turns sucking me.... while they played with each other.... the GF stood up and laid down on the bed and pulled GFF on top of her... I slid up behind the GFF and played with her while my GF kissed and licked her pussy... she was licking her pussy and my fingers at the same time.... after a while of fingering, licking and sucking they both turned their attention to me again... after another 15 minutes of sucking by both of them, I couldn't hold out any longer and came... they both laid back on the bed and just laid there smiling... they had been planning this evening for the last 2 weeks and it was my little surprise by them... It seems that they are wanting to make this a regular event! Talk about breaking up the week!
Looking forward to the middle of the week just as much as the weekends now!

Celebrating the Giants World Series Win!

Last night, I was at the local sports bar watching the World Series. The crowd was larger than normal. We go to  Moylan's every Monday night to watch Monday Night Football but on this night, we were watching the Giants win their first World Series since moving to San Francisco. 52 years ago.
On that final pitch, the bar erupted into a joyous frenzy!! People were hugging, high fiving, screaming, crying... it was a sight to see. I love things like that. I almost teared up just thinking about what those young men must have been going through at that moment. I reminded me of my younger days in High School when we won the Soccer Title in our little area or when we went 15 and 0 in Baseball one year... There aren't many things that can make you feel those feelings. Of having worked so hard and then in the end..... Won!
It was a great event. I went to bed feeling really proud of our team....
Then I woke up. Turned on the news and saw all the "joyous" people that had been celebrating in SF... Most of them were just as excited about the win as I was... and then there were the "OTHER" people... the ones that decided that a Giants victory was an excuse to riot....
It makes me ill to think that of all the HAPPY people that were on the streets last night, the idiots that wanted to cause trouble were the ones that mad the News.... Why do we give these people face time on the TV?
What happened yesterday was a GREAT MOMENT in History... what happened after, was what's wrong with our world. Down and out people looking for excuses to cause trouble... I heard of a couple of people being pulled from their car and beaten... in what way is that a CELEBRATION???

Congratulations to the Bay Area for a wonderful Victory!

And to all those that feel they need to destroy others property, steal from or injure others.... FUCK YOU! I hope you wake up in jail and find out you're going to be spending a whole lot of time sitting behind bars!

New tires and it Rains...

Got my new tires for my bike yesterday.... and today... it's RAINING!!
They say it could clear by this weekend so that would work for me.
So, in recognition of the Indian Summer and Sunshine that's going to come soon, I thought I would post my HNT as a tribute to the FUTURE SUN.

Have a wonderful Thursday and may your weekend be warm and Sunny!

KC

The little things in life

Today, I had a splitting headache but still had to function at work and couldn't go home, crawl into bed and let it run it's course... I think its from the changing of the seasons, the trees are dropping their leaves and the pollen is thick. Whatever the reason... I HATE HEADACHES !
So, I worked all day and when I got home, there was a package on the porch.. a big package... it contained my new Motorcycle tires!!! I haven't been able to ride since my trip because I wore off all my tread and I've been waiting for these tires to get here and THEY FINALLY CAME!
I'm like a little kid when it comes to packages... I was born on Christmas Day and as such, had to wait 12 months for presents so Packages on the doorstep make me happy!!

I'll be putting them on the bike Thursday, just in time to enjoy a great ride this weekend......
Sorry if I sound like a little kid... but there are a few things I still get a great deal of pleasure out of and riding is one of them.

HNT tomorrow.... still thinking of what to do...
Have a great night!

KC

A leg up for the day

I have to go to court today to try and get a ticket removed from my record. I have a feeling that the court will be a "Leg Up " on me so I thought I would post MY leg first in hopes that a little HNT will sway the judge...

Wish me luck!

Another HNT is here

The strong arm of the law got me the other day. Mailed me a ticket for rolling through a right turn on a red light. $462.00 I saw the video, I looked, I slowed, I merged.... I got a ticket.


So, here is my "Strong arm" that's going to have to work even harder to pay for this.


Happy Half Naked Thursday!

Talk about sad times

I just returned from work and my phone rang. It was a friend of mine that told me he received a call from another life long friend and that his 15 yr old Daughter had committed suicide this weekend....

I was stunned, shocked and saddened by such a loss... How could a 15 Yr. Old girl have so many problems that she would want to end her life rather than get help.. I know it's not easy to be a teen, I was one once... I can't say that going through those times, I didn't think about it. Once when the love of my life, cheated on me. I was going to show her!! But I didn't, instead, I broke up with her and life went on. Another time, when I was having a tough time with Cocaine... I had just spent my rent money on drugs and couldn't borrow anymore, I didn't have any more money to get more coke and I had to go home and face my wife and my baby boy and tell her that I wasn't going to be able to pay the rent and that we were probably going to be evicted. I was driving my '74 Monte Carlo along a stretch of road that was lined with Eucalyptus Trees, I was going about 80 MPH and I knew that all I had to do was jerk the wheel to the right and all my problems would be over... but instead, I went home and faced my wife, figured out how to make it right, went into treatment. Spent 28 days getting clean and sober and then went back to my family. A year later, I was divorced and raising my baby on my own.

The thing that saved me was the thought that my child would one day ask his mother, "What happened to my dad?" and his mother would tell him that he couldn't handle living life without drugs and Alcohol and he killed himself. What kind of pressure would that put on a child!!! I've been clean and sober ever since. 25yrs...

The thought of losing my child to suicide is FRIGHTENING! I just can't imagine the pain that this little girls parents are going through... just think of all the things going through their minds right now, "did we miss something"... were there signs that they didn't pay attention to... HOW COULD SHE DO THIS !!! So sad....
When my own daughter was 14, she took 7 Tylenol and then told her stepmother, I was out of town working. My ex called me hysterical and asked me what to do, I told her to take her to the hospital. They in turn, asked if they could send her to a place where she could learn to deal with some of the issues she had from her past. ( I'll get into that at another time) She spent 3 weeks in a place where other kids that tried to hurt themselves were staying and since then, she's been pretty good. Of course she still deals with things but she's learned one VERY important thing...

SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.


My friends have asked what to say to these people that just lost their child. I told them to leave them alone right now, they need to be with close family. You can't tell them you know how they feel, unless you've lost a child as well and I think that if I was them, at this stage, I would want to work through some very sad times before I started answering questions about my dead daughter...

Then, offer support, take over something for the family to eat and then be there if and when they need someone to talk to.

Such a sad thing...

My Eye on HNT

I just thought I would look through my eye and see what's out there...
Maybe not the prettiest eye. Maybe hasn't seen everything it was meant to see, but it's seen a lot. Everything that eye sees, the brain remembers...

This eye has been though a lot and the wrinkles around it tell a story of their own.
If you could only see all I've seen... I think you'd have a new appreciation for this eye... it's served me well.
Happy HNT !!

Why I love the ranch

This last weekend, I went to our ranch. I love it up there. If I could find a way to make a living without having to go to work, I'd live up there and only leave to pick up supplies and for social events. I'd love to spend a couple of months just working on the ranch, playing on the ranch and living on the ranch.
We have water, food, pretty much everything a person would need to live up there and the best part, no cell phones, no TV, no cable, no internet. The only electricity is the generator that we use to run the lights at night.
I've posted a few pictures of the ranch before but here are a couple of some Manzanita Trees that I saw while hiking this weekend. They are so old, they were probably just little bushes when the 49er's discovered gold in California. There are Oak Trees that are 40 feet around at the base. It's the Wild, Wild West up there and I think that's what I love most about it.

I wish I had my camera with me on Saturday afternoon. I was walking along a meadow and was looking out over the valley below not really paying attention to much when I saw something out of the corner of my eye lunge at me. By the time I realized what it was, I had jumped back. It was a 5 foot Rattlesnake! He was about 3 inches thick and he JUST missed my leg with his strike. He then started rattling at me. This is pretty unusual. Most of the time, when a snake senses you, they rattle to let you know they are there. I see them every so often when I'm out hiking and they never bother me but this one was angry, hunger and probably didn't like the fact that it was over 100 degrees out at the time. Anyway, I asked him to move along and I went my own way. This time, being a little more careful about where I was going.

Have a wonderful week and I'll see you on Thursday!

Half Naked Thursday

I know it's Wednesday but I'm not going to be able to post tomorrow so since I've been turned on to the Half Naked Thursday.... I thought I would break the mold and post one myself... DON'T LAUGH!!

I'm bashful and it's my first......

Some nights are just lousy

Last night started off as most nights. I got home from work, did a few chores and then settled in to watch a little TV while I waited for the GF to come over. Wed. and Thurs. Nights are our "Do Stuff together" nights and normally, we base our weeks around those nights and the weekends. Last night was no different.

See, she's a hairdresser and those two nights are the nights she works late and then stays at my house instead of going home. It's been that way for almost two years except for the occasional "change of plans" that happens when you both have kids.

I got the call about 8:00 from her, nothing unusual, she normally calls when she's about to leave the shop and let me know that she was on her way. It was her on the phone and she told me that her old boyfriend came by for a haircut and that he was hungry and wanted to take her to get something to eat. He's married, has a son and a pretty wife and he's pretty harmless but she told me a few months ago, when we were having one of our "talks" that he always has wanted her and that even thou he's married, before we were together, she'd fucked him.

Well, I've been feeling a little out of sorts lately and I wondered if maybe I'd missed something. A sign, some comment, something that would have led up to this... but I couldn't think of any... so, anyway, she said she was going to go out to dinner and if I wanted to meet him, to meet them at a restaurant that's not too far from my house. I figured what the hell, There wasn't any reason that I couldn't meet this guy so I went to the restaurant and met them. He seemed like a pretty good guy. We talked about all kinds of stuff. We knew a lot of the same people having both grown up in the same area but different circle of friends. It was a good evening. I thought it went well. Then....

Knowing that I was going to be out of town this weekend, up in the mountains with my guy friends being mountain men, she invited herself to go down to watch his son in race that he is in. She didn't want to drive with them so she was going to drive her own car. So he and her came up with another guy, another old friend, that was best friends with her other boyfriend, (they all ran in the same circle) that she could go down with to watch the race. It's about 90 miles to where they had to go and wouldn't be back until about 1:00 in the morning.

Now, I've been working on those feelings of jealousy and I've been doing really good at not having them. I mean, I just met the old boyfriend, I was going to be out of town and there isn't any cell service where our ranch is and there are about 25 other girls she could invite to go with her, she decides that inviting this guy is a good idea... well... I didn't...

I told her that I didn't feel comfortable with her plans and thats when she started getting all defensive. Voice went up and octave, she got louder, ( I forgot to mention that she had a couple of drinks prior to my arrival at the restaurant) and she told me that they were just friends and that she could do whatever she wanted... I agreed and then I said, "so, I guess you don't mind if I start going out with my old girlfriends and other women that I used to hang out with... that's when she started yelling, and then left the room.

So, I guess I hit a nerve. She didn't say a word to me the rest of the night, and to be honest, I was OK with that. This morning, I couldn't wait for her to leave...

Isn't it funny how it's OK that she hangs out with old GUY friends but as soon as I mentioned me doing it with old GIRL friends, she flipped. She said, that they were just her FRIENDS and that if I hung out with girl "friends" that I would be trying to have sex with them... doesn't she realize, that THAT is what THEY are trying to do with her??

Well, I see the end coming for this relationship... it's to bad too, I thought she had potential... such is life....

Same old job....

Well, I haven't changed careers yet... still doing research on being a Nanny Daddy. Sure sounded good at the time...

I'm having the most trouble I've ever had in my life just going to work. See I work for myself and just the thought of getting out of bed, getting dressed and leaving the house feels like a TON of weight on my. I thought maybe I was depressed about something but I can't put my finger on it. My life isn't bad, I have a pretty good GF that loves having new adventures with me. I have a job that pays me more in one hour than some make in a day. I don't have any pressures that are overwhelming. I have a roof over my head, a Motorcycle to ride and sunshine.. I have a truck that can climb any mountain and I use it for that... things are good, just not great!

I'm going to see Wonderbread 5 on Friday night with a group of 6 girls and all of them are wild and crazy. I'm heading to the ranch after to hang out with my buddies and do "guy" things for the rest of the weekend. Maybe it's that when I don't work, I have to budget my money and I'm not very good with budgeting... I could work more, there is plenty of work to do, I have more jobs than I can fit in especially when I don't want to do them...

So, having written this, I've come to the conclusion... I need to sleep more, get more rest, take some time for me and then get my ASS out there and do my jobs so that I can go on that vacation to Mexico that I've been planning and feel good about it!

Thanks for letting me bounce my shit off of you... you've helped more than you know.

Daddy Nanny

Can you keep a secret? I'm thinking about changing careers...

I've been a dad for 28 years and from the way my children turned out, I haven't done too bad of a job. Of course, with my own children, I had help from my second wife and together we were able to mold our children into some pretty good kids. It probably helped that they were given plenty of room to grow. Lots of exposer to adults and exposed to many areas of life. I would say that they are all pretty well rounded children.

I was thinking this morning while I am dealing with a horrendous sinus headache. Wondering what I could do to make more money doing something that I enjoy doing... and what I came up with is this...


I was thinking of offering my services as a "DAD Nanny" to the rich and unwilling to take part in their children's upbringing. I want to offer my skills at life, camping, ranching, shooting, waterskiing, wake boarding, sailing, basically, I want to help children to learn about life and experience all the things that their parents don't have time to do or aren't willing to take the time to teach them. There are so many children that would love to learn about life and the wild. I want to help them get out of the bedroom watching TV or playing video games and to experience the old ways of the world.
I would take them on outings, adventures and teach them manners, how to talk to people, answer their questions about anything and just be the "Dad" that they don't have....

What do you think? Do you think there are people out there that would pay a "DAD" to help teach their children about life?
My kids are out of the house. All but my youngest and he could help me to teach them. Show them that it's possible to learn about life outside the City life....

I'm willing to travel, take them to exotic places, Caribbean, Mexico, to the ranch and teach them how to survive in the wild so that if by chance something happened to this world, they would have the skills to live.

How much do you thing the rich and famous would pay to have someone teach their children about life?

If you know of anyone that doesn't have time to "deal" with their children, then refer them to me. We can work out a deal and in the end, their children will be better for it.


What do you think about my idea, I'm could use some feedback about it. There are LOTS of VERY rich people that are too busy to deal with their kids. I can do it for them.

Give me some ideas. For the right family, they could pay to teach their children about a great adventure and it's something I think I'd be really good at. I'll work anywhere in the country. All they have to do is pay me to do it...

Referrals welcome!

FEEDBACK WANTED! THANKS

Professional Blogger I'm not.

I've come to the conclusion that I am not a professional blogger. My life just isn't that amazing. I don't have craziness going on every day. My world doesn't flip out all the time and I don't worry to much about my figure...

When I started writing here on this blog I thought maybe I would have some insightful things to write about. I guess I could share about my relationship more. I could probably shock a few of you with stories of Wild sex, threesomes and foursomes... nights out in SF with my girlfriend going to sex clubs and watching others "do it" or "doing it" while others watched... I could tell you about all the times we've turned on our web cam and made crazy love sex together while strangers that we've never seen before watched us and played with themselves while we were doing it... but then, I guess I'm not as "open" as I thought I was because describing these things in detail wouldn't do them justice. They were and are the things that I enjoy doing with my special someone and if you happened upon us doing it somewhere, then we'd love to include you in our escapades.

Honestly, those weren't the reasons I started "blogging" I wanted to just have a place where I could write down my thoughts and my adventures and I was sure no one would ever discover them on the internet. I wanted to be able to put my most precious thoughts down. I wanted to just be able to write about my adventures with my kids and family. All the places we go and some of the things we like to do. But, what I've also discovered is that it probably isn't all that interesting to others.

So, I think what I'll do is continue to write my thoughts down. It gives me a place to do it where I don't have to worry as much about people I know seeing it and if you care to stop by once in a while and say hello, I'd like that as well.


I hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend and I hope that this week finds you in good spirits.

Namaste

Missing my kids

You know what? I'm missing my kids! I've had a great summer. I've gone on trips, I've spent time at our ranch, I've done pretty much everything I've wanted to do this summer and yet, now that school is starting, football has started and my two older children are pretty much set in their ways, I'm missing hanging out with my children.

My youngest made the Jr. Midgets football team. He's the biggest on his team and is excelling at it. He reminds me of myself when I was his age. I played all sports. Loved being a part of an organization. The only difference is, he's about 60 lbs bigger than I was when I was his age. I think he's going to take to football very well.

My 18 yr. Old has left for College. It's his first time away from home for any extended time and he's really excited about being in College. He was accepted to Gonzaga University and he's really looking forward to it.

My daughter is 24 now, she's working, living in Central California, has a fairly good job and an OK boyfriend so she's pretty busy just doing her own thing. I hear from her on occasion when she needs something.. I hope that one day, she'll just want to hang out with me and not because she needs something... but just because she wants to...

My oldest is 27. He's working full time, going to school full time (16 units) is married and supporting his wife while she attends school too... needless to say, he's busy... I'm really proud of all my kids... I'm just missing them.

I guess it's time for me to start finding other things to do! LOL

I've been busy working and ranching... or should I say, working so that I can do more ranching.

Funny thing happened the other night. I was Kayaking with a friend of mine on the Russian River. It was about 9:30 at night we were about a mile and a half up river from where we launched. It was a beautiful night. The moon was out ( it had been about 100 degrees earlier in the day) I noticed something in the water ahead of us and thought it was a log in the water, that is, until it spoke. Turns out that 2 young girls, (18yrs. old) had started floating down the river at 3:00 and that was as far as they had gotten. They were supposed to be another 2 miles down the river by dark and they didn't make it... they were frightened, wet and hypothermia. My friend I I made sure they weren't in any medical condition that needed attention and then we preceded to tow them back to our launch location. When we got there, we put them into my truck and drove them to where they said they left their car. Turns out, they left the car at another location 7 miles further down the river. If we hadn't come upon them, they would have had to float another 8 miles and probably wouldn't have made it off the river until sun up, if at all... They could have gotten out of the river and walked, but that would have been a problem too. 2 Young women in bikini's walking along a dark 2 way road would have been asking for trouble. I'm just glad we were there to help them... Capped off a great evening on the river, helped to notsosmart girls and got a nice workout as well. Just another great day on the river!


Tomorrow it's back to the river to work and if I'm lucky, I'll have some time to do some more kayaking.

Looking for more things to do.. any suggestions!

Sitting in the wild....

Saturday, I went to a party for my 18 yr. Old son. He's leaving on the 24th of this month for Gonzaga University. I've got to say, I'm going to miss him! He's my Spirit Rock partner, he comes down every Monday to head out into the valley with me. We do a little sitting, some listening and then we get to spend some time talking and visiting on our way home, oh yah, and we stop at Double Rainbow for Ice cream. It's become our routine and I'm going to miss it...

After the party, my GF and I went out to our ranch in the foothills to check on things since I haven't been there in a couple of months... No, there aren't any pets there to starve, only Walnut trees, meadows and BIG Oak Trees... What a great night it was. The stars were so intense that you could see layers of stars in the ski. It looked like they were stacked on top of each other, the air was warm, there wasn't a breeze to be felt. We went for a little night walk. I love the sounds of the night. The crickets, the owls and the Coyotes... oh, those Coyotes were out howling up a storm this weekend. But, of all the things I love about the ranch is the SMELLS... there is nothing better than smelling the fresh crisp air in the mountains. The Bay trees, the Oaks, the Pines and yes, the Redwoods as well. Tarweed, Tall yellow grass even the smell of the dirt in the Walnut orchard has a distinct smell... You can even smell the rivers that run along the edge of the property. I love that place!

Next weekend will be my last weekend with my son until he comes back from School. We're going farther up into the mountains next weekend. It's a boys weekend in the mountains, Spitting, staying up late, shooting guns, hiking and lots of talking about life... as well as listening to my sons thoughts about going away... I think I'll do a lot of listening this weekend... maybe just some sitting too...

Have a great week!

Working out in the Russian River area, no cell service, no computer connection.. HEAVEN!

Am I getting old..... OH GOD!!!

This weekend, my GF went waterskiing with the girls from work. I love the lake house, so much fun and there's not much better than Waterskiing and Wake boarding or just sitting by the lake or in the water floating around.
But this weekend, It was a girls only trip that they do once a year at one of the girls lake houses. The house is on this beautiful little lake, they have a ski boat and a pontoon boat that they play with and it's a great place to get away and just relax. I really love that my GF goes and does things with her girlfriends. It gives us time to be without each other an allows us time to "want to be together" It also allows ME to get some things done around my house that I might otherwise neglect since I work during the week and then want to play on the weekends...

This weekend, my GF kept calling me and asking me what I was doing, where I was, who I was with and so on... now, most any other time, I would take those calls as jealousy or insecurity.... but this time, I realized that she just wanted to be hanging out with me and not her girlfriends... more than once I had to tell her to get off the phone, to stop calling me and to have fun. Of course, I did this with humor and tact so that she wouldn't be upset but I wanted her to be present where she was and not to be thinking about what was going on at home...

You see, her 16 yr. old Daughter was staying with me while she was away. I also had my 12 yr old with us. We spent time working on the house, doing some yard work, playing video games until all hours of the night, watching TV together, doing computer stuff and then we went to a movie yesterday... all and all I'd say we had a pretty good time!

You might ask yourself, "so, what's OLD about that" well, let me tell you....

First of all, I love being a dad and I really enjoy my GF's daughter, when her mom isn't around (she's more respectful) and I love playing games and hanging out with the kids... but the "OLD" me would have been out the door about the time the GF's tail lights disappeared! I'd have been out on my Bike, cruising the town, heading to the clubs, going away on my own little "adventures" it's almost scary that I don't have those desires anymore... I'm almost scared about it! I guess I'm starting to feel comfortable in my old skin... I think I'm also feeling more comfortable in my relationship so that I don't have to seek out others to fill me up. I'm getting enough at home... That's one line I thought I would never type !!!


So, what about you? Do you go out every time your GF/BF goes out of town?

Are you still feeling restless and if so, what do you think is causing it?

Does your current relationship fill all of those holes that you were always seeking others to fill?


Would love to hear others thoughts on this, THANKS !

How come I don't have anything to complain about

It's Friday night, it's 10:45 pm, I found out a few hours ago that my girlfriends, (GF)sisters husband was run down while riding his bicycle and is hanging on in the hospital with broken ribs, a broken back (not Paralyzed), brain swelling, lots of fractures and cuts, scraps bruises... but he's still alive and they think he's going to make it... scary@! I just returned from my trip and we didn't have any problems... I think about all the things that could have gone wrong and none did. Here he is, just riding to work and he's run down by a person not paying attention.

Now, my GF's, brothers, wife is VERY religious. She's got all her friends praying for Jeff. They're talking about it all... God is great, God is going to save him, God has a plan for life... How come GOD didn't smack that driver on the back of the head when he was looking down trying to figure out where he was going and say " look you dumb FUCK, You're about to Run down a really good guy!! LOOK UP!! " If there was a God, don't you think he would pay attention and protect the good people! It's like the war zone on the other side of the Bay, They're killing people for 10 bucks!! They're killing people because they're walking down the street!! I'm trying to figure out what Gods plan is for that!

Anyway, what I started to say was that with all this "stuff" going on. I'm sitting here.. feeling OK. You see, I thought my Mother was going to die this week. While I was gone on my Vacation, my sister was watching her. Well, I wasn't here, but she fell out of bed and hit her head and was pretty messed up. They didn't tell me until I returned from my trip. Over the last week, I've been noticing that she wasn't acting like herself, she seemed Doped up. She wasn't walking right, she wasn't responding correctly. I just couldn't figure it out. I thought maybe it was her brain, or the pain but I knew something wasn't right... then, last night, my sister was talking about medicines and said how much she was giving mom, it was DOUBLE what she should have been getting~! No wonder she was like a zombie! ( she has Dementia ) The shit hit the fan, Nurse sister came over, Doctors were called, Poison control was called, it turned out that she's going to be fine but what a scare...
And yet, I have nothing bothering me... I just don't get it. I'm calm. I guess some of that time staring at a wall, sitting in that uncomfortable position, thinking about not thinking is paying off... I came home from my trip and had work already set up. I worked all week, everything came together just as it should and I was able to complete everything on time... I guess someone out there has a plan... or maybe if I just stop trying to control EVERYTHING and just let things happen as they will it will be OK.

I hope Jeff has a speedy recovery. I'll do what I can to help out.

I think Mom is going to be OK and I'll do what I can to keep her comfortable in the time she has left.

I'm going to just stay out of my self and things will happen as they do...

Have a wonderful weekend!

Have you ever just let go of everything and found out that you never had control anyway?

Have you ever felt peace even thou all around you there was Chaos?

What do you do to keep yourself from reacting to outside pressure?

My Journey North

What a great experience! I had the BEST time this past 8 days. It couldn't have worked out better. The bike handled everything perfectly. No problems, which seems to NEVER happens when going on a long ride. My girlfriend and I got along perfectly. We talked, we laughed and we saw some of the prettiest places. I wish I could show you all of my pictures that we took. Many of them taken by my girlfriend as we rode along the roads and highways. She was a TROOPER to be sure. If you've ever sat on the back of a Motorcycle, you're putting a lot of faith in the person up front. She did a really great job keeping track of road signs, taking pictures and just being a part of the journey. The only time she complained was after 6 or 7 hours on the bike, her ass was starting to hurt and she needed to rest. We only had 2 days like that but it wasn't a problem, I needed to rest too. My ass was hurting as well!

We started off heading to Klamath Falls for a gathering of friends. Spent two days in Klamath Falls, meeting new people, hanging out with old friends, dancing, laughing and just having a great time. Our room had a Jacuzzi in it.. no, not in the bathroom, I mean right next to the bed. Lots of fun in there as well! We left Klamath Falls and headed to Bend OR. Pretty little town... looked around Bend a bit and then headed to our next place to stay, Sisters OR. This town is beautiful! We stayed with some friends of my girlfriends. They have a beautiful 5 acre place, a little pond out back that they dug and lined and acts as a pond and pool for their two children. We had a great night visiting with them and hanging out with their children. The next morning we said our goodbyes and headed up to Spokane WA.

The ride to Spokane was an EVENT! As soon as we got clear of the trees and started crossing the open fields and desert areas the winds picked up. Not straight on winds, these came from the West and were hitting us broadside. 45 to 50 MPH winds! Talk about an experience! 6 hours of riding in crosswinds... the bike was being tossed around like a tumble weed. Strong winds and big trucks... don't go well together! We made it to the Columbia Gorge and we were resting at a truck stop when a couple of truckers came up to us and asked us how we liked riding in those winds! They said they could barely keep their trucks on the road. All along the way, there were fires and dust storms. Amazing stuff, if you were watching it from a TV... but to be in it was a little scary!

We pulled into Spokane and found a place to stay. Most of the hotels we stayed in were not your 5 star hotels, we just needed a place that was quiet, safe and where we could sleep for a few hours. We didn't do any swimming at the hotels... not this trip! Anyway, my son is going to Gonzaga as a Freshman this fall so I wanted to go up and see where he was going to be staying. Just in case I needed to go up and get him one day... Pretty little town Spokane, reminded me of Chico except with Bigger trees! We toured the school and took pictures. Nice Place!! I'm sure he's going to fit in just fine up there.

We gathered our gear and headed out to our next location. Coeur D' Alena, Idaho. Talk about a gorgeous place! We enjoyed a leisure ride East to Coeur D' Alena, only about a half hour ride from Spokane but we couldn't pass it up since we were so close. Reminded me of Lake Tahoe except prettier, newer looking and without the Casinos. I think if I was going to live up that way, Sisters, Bend or Coeur D' Alena would be my choices.

The ride from Idaho to Seattle was a long one! Not a lot to see between those two places. Lots of high desert rest areas... We got into Seattle about 10:00 that night, we were staying at my sisters house in Tacoma so we just headed to Tacoma and slept. The next morning, we headed back up to Seattle to see the city. The weather was great! Sunny, warm and without wind. Something we really enjoyed! My sister drives a double decker bus in Seattle around the tourist areas so we hitched a ride with her to see most of the downtown areas. It was the first time I'd gone up to see her in 25 years so we were able to talk and visit with her between stop and at her house at night. We rode the bike all over Seattle, the water front, the college areas, the older parts of Seattle as well as the newer areas. Seattle's a pretty city, I had no idea it was as nice as it was. I'm really glad I was able to make the journey up there!

We left Seattle and headed down HW 5. We rode up to the viewing site of Mt. St. Helens! That was worth the ride! Amazing view of the crater. No clouds Sunny, warm and the mountain looked SO BIG being so close to it. I'd seen everything in pictures and on TV but to see it up close and personal, really gives you a different perspective of how massive it really is! Amazing!

The last couple of days we spent traveling back down to CA. We took our time returning, just stopping along the way to look at sites and take pictures. We ended up traveling 2600 miles on this journey. That's a long way in a car... but on a bike it seems like 5000 miles!

This was one of the most adventurist trips I've been on and my GF was nothing short of being GREAT so I'm looking forward to taking her on the next journey... this time I think we'll fly down to Costa Rica and spend some time sitting on a beach... soaking up the rays and relaxing... she deserves a well earned relaxing trip... I'm already working on it!

Back from my trip!

Just got back from my Motorcycle road trip! Covered a lot of ground. 2600 miles or so. Haven't figured it all out yet. Went from The Bay Area to Klamath Falls, then up to a town called The Sisters, then up to Spokane, over to Idaho, then across Washington to Seattle, down to Tacoma, Portland, Back into California and then home. I'll tell you all about it but first I have to relax a bit !

Road Trip

God I hate getting ready to go on vacation... I mean, really dislike having to get all of the ducks in a row, so to speak... I had a good 4th of July weekend. Spent it with family and friends. Went and saw The Temptations, man did that bring back some memories... Also saw a band called Little Feat. I can remember having a CD by them so many years ago... it really amazes me how these bands keep touring... I mean seriously, If I had a Top 10 single and made a few million... the last thing I would be doing is going to little county fairs and playing... I'm sorry, but I would rather be sitting on an island in the Caribbean or hanging out in Costa Rica or somewhere, anywhere.... On Friday night, The Wailers played. Now, they're a fun band, the lead singer sounds just like Bob Marley. The fans, most of them in their 40's to 50's are getting high and thinking they are back in high school and the other fans are the kids that have discovered Reggae Music.. my point... they made 29K for that gig. They had to travel from wherever it is they ALL live, bring their road crew, hall all of they're instruments and amps, play 1 set and then go home. Now, that sounds pretty good! 29 THOUSAND DOLLARS for 3 hours work. But then you have to figure in the road crew, shipping, handling, taxes, the 15 members of the band... the drugs, alcohol... it ain't much!

Anyway, it was fun, we met up with a few old high school friends which made it fun. I introduced my girlfriend to them. She instantly wanted to know which ones I slept with... some things never change. Even when you're open with them from the very start, that possession, control thing always seems to slide in there... and here we are planning a 10 day Motorcycle trip and all she wants to know is "which ones did you sleep with".... Do any of you ever run into that same thing? If you pay your Significant Other (SO) too much attention, then something must be wrong, if you're feeling comfortable and laughing and enjoying others company, you must be up to something. What is the "proper" way to be around old friends and a newer girlfriend and not have to have these One on One talks later. "How would you like it if I started talking to my old friends" I love that question.... "I would love it! GO TALK TO THEM"!

All and all, it was a good weekend and now, I'm getting ready to spend 10 days with the woman that I've been with for almost 2 years... 10 days and 10 nights... together.. just the two of us, no kids, no dogs, no family, no other friends, and I'm not talking about just sitting by the pool either! No, I'm talking about being on a Motorcycle, heading up to Oregon, Then Washington and then back down the coast to good old California. We're going to cover 2100 miles in that short period of time. Not listening to music, not chatting.. although we will be able to talk back and forth. Talk about a Make or Break thing, I can't think of a worst scenario, being on a motorcycle and not getting along.. It's almost like going alone except you have a companion there with you. Smelling the different smells, seeing things you probably would miss if you were sitting in a car, or for that matter, sleeping while you made those twisty, windy turns up High Way 5...(smiles)

I'm going to make this the best trip I've ever been on.. and if anyone that is riding with me wants to make it any other way... there are MANY airports along the way where that other person can hitch a ride back home.. ! lol..
It's kind of sad really. I've enjoyed this relationship. I've been the most open I've ever been with a woman and yet, it always seems to come down to the bottom line... I think the best song to describe it is "Living by the Dashboard Lights" by Meatloaf.. I think that's the name of the song, I never was very good at remembering song names but I never forget a band...

So, to get back to where I started with my little blog post, I'm getting ready for a road trip. There are so many things I still need to do and yet, no matter how hard I try, ALL of them won't get done... I'll do what I can, and I'm sure, the rest will be there for me when I return.. along with a few more surprises I haven't even thought of yet!

10 days, 2 people, 2 saddle bags, 2 small carry ons. 1 Community big bag strapped to the sissy bar, a tent, blow up mattress, electric pump, 2 sleeping bags that CAN be zipped together, but also can NOT be zipped together. Money, plastic and all the leathers... I think that's about it! Now I just have to figure out how to get it all on the BIKE! Ah, but don't worry yourselves... the tent and the sleeping bags are only for the nights we won't be sleeping at friends houses along the way, or the nights when we stay in hotels... they are the "Just in case" sleeping bags that you pull out when you're just too tired to go on... I hope we don't run into too many of those!

I hope all of you have a wonderful July and when you see that overloaded motorcycle with the handsome guy on front and the long haired blonde on the back... be sure to give them plenty of room and be nice because they just might be me trying to get to my next gas station fill up to stretch my legs !

Abalone Diving

I've lived in the Coastal areas of California almost my entire life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

This weekend, some friends and I went Abalone Diving in one of the most Beautiful places on the planet... in my opinion... When we arrived at our location, the first thing we noticed was how nice it was NOT to be in the blistering heat of the heat wave that is passing by right now... The coastal fog was misty but not thick and the air was cool but not cold. A perfect day to be on the coast.

It funny, but I never get much sleep when I go away for a few days. There was a lot of stuff to get together for the trip as well as getting all my Abalone gear together. I haven't been Ab diving since last year but I used some of my diving gear for Gold Dredging last winter and I had to gather everything back up again... it always seems to take forever... going over lists, checking items, bagging and tagging!

I grabbed my floating tube that is wrapped with a cloth and has a net in it so that when you're out in the water, you have something to hold on to when you get a little tired... I think I spent most of my time holding onto that tube... it was exhausting..

The water was a little rough. twice I had my mask ripped from my face by a big wave and twice I had to have my girlfriend make the journey back up the cliff to retrieve my other mask. The first time, I got the other mask and then promptly found the mask I lost. The second time, there was no finding it... another item lost to the Great Pacific Ocean... I bet it almost sounds like I'm complaining... but I'm not, I just love the power of the ocean. It can be calm and alluring almost begging you to come out to play... and then a few seconds later... it can throw you around at will, deciding if at that moment, is it going to claim your life or let you live... this weekend, we all lived, we all got Abalone and we'll Feast Better than Kings tonight!

I hope everyone else is staying cool in this heat and I wish you all a wonderful weekend!

Fathers Day

Well, it's Fathers Day and for some reason, I'm missing my dad this morning. I'm sitting here, writing this note since my kids aren't up yet and to be honest, we haven't decided what we're going to do today... There's Elvin Bishop at Rancho Nicacio, and then there's the Save Mart 350 at Infinion Raceway... but to tell you the truth, I think I'd rather go sit by one of the lakes in the county, put up a chair, put a salmon egg on a hook, add a bobber and watch it float in the breeze. Relaxing, sitting with my kids, and just talking and laughing...

Yesterday our Motorcycle group went for a ride to Clearlake. It was a beautiful ride, lots to look at and I love the different smells along the road when I'm riding... it's really amazing how much you miss out on when you're in a car...

Where we went I spend most of my childhood summers. Summer Camp at Clearlake! It really brought back some strong memories of my dad. It was because of him that I was able to spend 2 months of every summer sitting on a lake, waterskiing, swimming and going to camp... it was a special place to be for me yesterday and I'm glad I was able to experience it.

Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.

Be well!

Stress

I don't know why, but lately, I've been feeling really stressed... dealing with my sick mother, a girlfriend that wants ALL of my attention. Wanting to spend time with my kids without outside people being around... Anxiety, Male menopause.. whatever you want to call it but my patience level has been KNILL!
Work has been slow, trying to plan vacation time, dealing with everyone else's schedule in order to fit it into my schedule... I guess that means.... overwhelmed.. but I don't think I've been dealing with it very well.
Monday, I meditated about it and felt some relief. I talked to the two people that I felt were stressing me out and realized that it was me that was causing a lot of it. I think I'm feeling smothered... and I don't know what to do about it. So, I had a talk with the GF last night and let her know that it wasn't her, that I needed some down time so that I could feel better about myself. Hoping that she would realize that maybe if she backed off a bit, it would be better for our relationship.
I'm trying to take some time for myself but feeling pressure that I need to be there for others and it's weighing on me. Of course, when I pull back, the GF thinks that something is wrong with "US" and I try to tell her that it's just that I need some alone time. It's something I'm trying to work through...

What is the "right" way to let someone know that you just need some down time?

How do you deal with pressure without hurting other peoples feelings?

I know that taking care of myself is the most important thing but I hate hurting others...

Meditation helped on Monday, bought another book, " No Self, No Problem" maybe I just need to get out of myself for a little while... can anyone say VACATION!


Have a great week!

Just Sitting

Tonight I took my Middle son 17 and his friend out to one of my favorite places. No, it wasn't the nude E bar... we went and listened to one of my favorite people share about living life on life's terms. How to be present in peoples lives without pressing your self on them.

Yes, we went and sat in Meditation for 35 minutes and then listened to Jack Kornfield share some stories about life and how to go through the day to day things in life without feeling the pressure of always being good... or right...
Did you know that you have to have obstacles in life in order to grow. He had some great things to say as he always does. I feel blessed to be able to have such a great place as Spirit Rock to go to.

I look at my son and sometimes I wish I had been exposed to something as extraordinary as S.R. He just amazing me time and time again. When he took entrance exams to get into a private High School, I thought to myself... WHY? where he lives has some of the newest, best public schools in the State of California... but since he passed the exams to get in, how could I deny him.
Fast forward, A couple of weeks ago, he graduated from that school with honors. He also was accepted to a wonderful, exciting College in Washington State. I'm so proud of him as well as happy that he is open minded enough to look into meditating to move forward in his future one moment at a time. Tonight, he brought a friend with us to share this experience with.

If you ever get a chance to read anything written by Jack Kornfield and you have an open mind to learn things that may not be "in your character" please do, he's a great read!

Allergies...

So, it seems like I've lost a couple of days dealing with the worst Allergies. I had the WORST headache! I wanted to cut my head off...

I never dealt with allergies before... and the drugs that I have to take to take away the pressure makes me feel like crap... I love spring, I just hate pollen!

So, what do you do for allergies? How do you deal with it? Right now, I feel like sitting in a sealed room inhaling pure Oxygen... and I have a Rose Garden that most would kill for... Just planted the tomato plants and looking forward to the reward.
Not much to share right now, just felt like writing something. Seeing that I feel like I'm talking to myself anyway, It's more of a online diary!

Have a great weekend and hopefully the Allergies will give me a little break!

Dealing with a GF's daughter

I have a girlfriend that has a 15 yr. old daughter and she's a handful...

2 weeks ago, she decided that she was going to hang out with her boyfriend, her mom told her that she needed to be home at a certain time... but she just said, "Make Me" ... "D" told her that she HAD to come home and she just snubbed her... she told her that she didn't have to do anything she told her to do... I told my GF that she needed to report her to the police as a runaway... what they told her blew me away... " there's nothing we can do"

How can teenagers have more rights than the parents?? She wouldn't tell her where she was, she didn't come home, she's out smoking dope and drinking and still the cops do nothing... in my day, my dad would have Tanned my hide for such disregard! Kids have too many rights!! If you force them to mind, they report you. What are parents to do...?

My GF, kept in contact with the PD but they couldn't find her... then on Sunday night, she came home and acted as if nothing happened. How do you contend with a defiant teenager? I know that it starts when they are young, but she came from a broken home and the father doesn't support the mother... I wanted soooo bad to jump in and get involved... it took everything I had not to flip out at her... we know she's doing drugs, drinking and having sex... why is it that the cops can't do anything??? She needs to be scared straight... but kids these days know all the loopholes. They know that there really isn't anything that the parent can do to "force" them to respect their parent...

I have to say that it makes me sad that this child has no respect for a mother that has done everything to make her life better...

Things need to change, parents need more tools to help control unruly kids. Yes, it will be tough at first.. but these kids need to know that in the end, learning respect, manners and appreciation will only help them in the future... just how to go about it is the problem....

Any suggestions??