A night to forget... or remember...

Yesterday was a drag.... no other way to describe it. It started off like any other. Coffee, schedule the day, make phone calls. Then it went to hell....

For the last 5 years, I've had a back and shoulder problem. I take Soma when I need it to relax the muscles and it helps get me through the day. Not everyday, just when the weather is bad and the body is acting up... I'm not proud of this but I've found that it helps.... you see, I haven't drank alcohol in 27 years. I've been in AA since 1986. I've been proud of the fact that I can go out with friends and be the driver to make sure everyone gets home safely. My doctor has given me other medication to try and relieve the aches and pains. I hurt my back long ago L4/L5 and I used to speed ski behind 100 mile per hour boats... I was good at it, but one day, I crashed. I chipped a vertebrae and I have a bone chip that floats around in my back... most of the time, it doesn't bother me but when it does, my legs stop working and I'm laid up for a week or two. In the last 2 months I got Tennis Elbow, now, I don't play tennis but it causes severe pain. The work I do requires me to do heavy lifting and many days I'm in pain... so, I got a prescription for Soma to help make me feel better. When the weather gets cold, my pains act up so I took some Soma, as prescribed... but after 2 hours, it wasn't helping so I took two more....

 Right after I took them, my girlfriend called and asked if I could deposit some checks in her bank account. I said "no problem" I drove down to the bank and thats when the Soma hit me. I think I had an allergic reaction because I started shaking. I decided to drive home because I knew something was wrong... I pulled into a parking lot to go back the other way, it was crammed with cars trying to park and I bummed a car with my truck, I truck turns like a bus but still, it was the Meds that made me mis judge the space and I tapped the cars rubber bumper. No damage but still, I got out and talked to the woman that owned the car. We started to exchange information when I realized I had left my wallet on my desk... she call the police..I was slurring because the Soma was just hitting me. The police officer asked if I had been drinking and I told him no but he could tell something was wrong. I told him I had taken a perscription medication and that I thought I was having a reaction to it... well, he call the paramedics.. and all hell broke loose.... See, 2 of the cops working that day are friends of mine but they couldn't do anything... I felt so embarrassed. I had to ride in an ambulance to the hospital and by the time I got there, the affects of the Soma had calmed down BUT , because of the ordeal, I was given a DUI.....I'm devastated... I spend last night watching the football game in a holding cell. Now, the town I live in has a pretty Low key jail and all the officers were very kind. I wasn't handcuffed and demeaned but I had to stay there for 4 hours.

In the last 27 years.... this was the lowest I've felt that I can remember... I've been using Soma for a long time and I have on a couple of occasions had these affects but the back pain made it worth the problem.... NOW,  I have to face all my friends that have known me to be a non drinker. Leading a clean life and tell them that I abused my prescription and that what I've been doing to relieve the pain has know become a problem. As they say, If it causes a problem,,,,, it's a problem....  I feel sick, depressed and with all the other things that I deal with now I'm going to have to have a record, Have a restricted license, pay who knows how much in fines and face my friends that are cops in my town. I'm more embarrassed that I can describe. I feel like I've let so many people down..... Today, I just didn't want to leave the house, one of the cops on duty is my friend from junior high, another has been my neighbor forever....

And the topper, I had to call my girlfriend to come and get me.... Thank god it wasn't on a day that I had to be home to be with my Alzheimer mother I don't know what I would have done then...

This note will continue as I find out what is going to happen..... Scared, pissed, embarrassed, ashamed,,,,,
They say some good things come from bad.... I hope so...